a female right ... rite?

i know k is not alone in this, and i know it can't simply be a female thing, but what is it about a toddler that makes them change their minds, constantly, all day long?

this is the latest thing in our house. 

"i want charlotte's web"
i cue up charlotte's web
"no, i think i want mr. fox"
(i no longer play the fool, but a couple of weeks ago...) i cue up mr. fox
"i want charlotte's web!!!" with ensuing tears and tantrum

what in the world???

as i said, i no longer play the fool... now she gets what she asked for in the first place.  this goes on all day long, about everything under the sun.  food, toys, playing in the pool, going out, anything.

i am smart enough to realize this is a phase of the beast ... oops, i mean toddler.  and i know this won't last forever, but how long will this go on?  i know it's part of the toddler exerting his/her opinions and making his/her own decisions, but come on.

i love my little girl :)

m.i.a.

so i've been a little M.I.A. lately with this blog - even with my family blog.  i have been in a slump about blogging for whatever reason.

can i make a comeback?  i don't know.  i'm still not sold on the idea of this old blog ... it may get deleted sometime but we'll see.  mostly i wanted to have it as a place where i could talk about what toddler days are like.  i wanted to have a place to vent about the frustrations and tears that come along with it.  i wanted to have a place to record the amazing things my kid(s) do for memory's sake...

so, we'll see.

for now, i'm glad to be back at home with my kiddo.  husband and i took a few days to get away for our anniversary and we were both pretty excited to see little k.  maybe i can get back in the swing of things and do a little blogging about the ins and outs.

thanks for reading, whoever you are!

saturday

husband and i took k to see toy story 3 this afternoon.  the toy story movies are favorites for her - everytime we visit my parents, she wants to watch 1 & 2 on repeat.  she loved the movie and did an amazing job the entire time.  i thought it was a great movie, as well - it had me in major tears at the end, but i might be blaming that on the pregnancy :)

after the movie, we got home and spent the afternoon with husband's parents, who happened to be in town today.  after visiting and a yummy dinner, we said goodbye to them and went to see some friends and meet their new baby.  it's amazing how much you do actually forget about newborns.  people say all the time when someone has a new baby, "oh, it goes by so fast!  you'll wake up one day and forget how tiny your baby was!" and we all, with out new babies, think "oh, not me, i'll remember everything about this."  naturally, i found myself saying things like that tonight :)  it definitely got me even more excited to have a brand new baby in the house.  soon enough :)

so after a great day and evening, we got k home and let her relax a bit before bedtime.  i sat with her in the bathroom for about 10 minutes, trying to get her to "go stinky" - no such luck.  she had me pretty convinced that she didn't need to (lots of gas was released but nothing else ... TMI?  sorry about that) :)  i put her to bed and within 5 minutes, she was out of the room with a poopy diaper.  what a stinker!!!

[i've debated back and forth with admitting this on the blog (but then i remembered it's a blog, it's honest, and come on - nobody's reading this!) but here goes...]

i have started spanking her when she poops in her diaper.  i've only had to do it 4 times in the last 10 days, but it still sucks.  nothing makes me feel worse.  it does seem to work, a bit anyway.  she knows that is what will happen if she poops, so i'm hoping after a few more times she'll decide she's over getting her bum spanked.  hoping.  so, naturally tonight she got her spanking and cried so much, i felt horrible.  then she asked, "mama hold you?"  oh, the heart melts.  i snuggled up with her and kissed her and talked to her about her spanking (why she got it, what will happen next time, etc.).  it seems to have an effect but man does it "hurt me more than it hurts her."  :)

thoughts?  agreements?  disappointments?  do tell, i'm very curious... if anyone's out there...

a good day

it sort of seems like we've been on a roll around here.  of course, just saying that now means we will be on a roll of horrible days to come, i'm sure.  


i really think once i decided to pick my battles and let power struggles slide, i have been so much more equipped to deal with a toddler's tantrums and struggles.


anyway, today was a good day.  i bought an inflatable pool for k last week and this morning blew it up and filled it with the frigid hose water.  after letting the water sit for a few hours, and letting the outside temperature rise to the 80s, i got k dressed in her swimming suit, hat, and water shoes and let her loose.  she loves the water.  one of these days we need to make it down to the real pool.  for now, though, she loves standing, kicking, and splashing.


the best part of the day, though?  when i took her outside to check out the pool for the first time, she was so excited.  she ran right to it, dipped her hand in the water, and asked, "did you make this for me, mama?!?!"  i laughed and said, "yes."  then she squealed, "thank you, mama!"  it was priceless :)

that makes me happy, too

husband and i took k to a local carnival this evening.  she loved all the crazy lights, people, and excitement.  we all ate the festival's namesake treat, strawberries & cream, walked through the crowds, and watched the rides. 

k got to ride the carousel again this year and loved every second of it.  she was a big girl this time and rode a horse by herself without anyone even holding on :)

after we left the park, husband was talking to k about the night and asked if she had fun.  she said, "oh yes," to which he replied, "good!  that makes me happy."  she then melted our hearts and responded with, "that makes me happy, too"

gotta love her!

sleeping beauty

k got out of bed from naptime this afternoon way way way too early.  she had been quiet for at least 30 minutes so i figured she was definitely snoozing.  when i heard her playing in the hallway outside her room, then in the living room, i knew she was up and never slept.  (after the weekend she had visiting family and the cold she caught from her cousin, she is in desperate need of sleep.)  i have found that ignoring her (when she's out of her room) is usually the best thing for us.  she knows she shouldn't be up, so she stays really quiet and i kind of figure at least she's playing quietly, which, if she's not sleeping, is the next thing i expect during that time of day. 

anyway, i ignored her and let her play while i listened here and there from my bedroom.  after awhile, i noticed this odd, rhythmic noise and then it hit me - it was probably her heavy breathing/snoring from the living room.  i was right.  i couldn't believe it - it was too cute.  she was knocked out on the couch (almost halfway falling off) sound asleep.  the thing that makes this odd for k is that she is such a bed sleeper.  she rarely falls asleep unless she's in a bed and alone.  we have tried napping with her here and there and she just wants to play.  same goes if she's anywhere but a bed. 

she woke up after about an hour, crying and inconsolable.  she was clearly still very tired and needed a bit more sleep.  by this time, husband had come home from work and was able to wrap k up in his arms and lull her back to sleep.  the two of them napped for another 45 minutes or so. 

say it with me now, "awwwwww......."

i have to remind myself

k is a talker.  she chatters all day long and, so i've been told over and over, she speaks very well and very clearly.  she's such a good communicator that i have to remind myself that she is only 2.  do you ever find yourself expecting more of your toddler - more accountability for things, more understanding of things, more obedient, etc - because they seem older than they are?  i do this often.  hence, i have to remind myself. 

little k is still little. 

i expect her to listen to me and learn from me, but i also have to expect her to be 2.  there is still so much she can't do yet, so many things she can't know yet, so much she can't understand yet. 

i have a feeling when baby b arrives, k will seem even more capable and even older ... my baby is flying away.

toddler traveling

i have been visiting my parents for the last several days while husband has been making the big bucks working in LA.  k loves her grandparents.  because husband and i grew up together, k has both sets of grandparents to see when we visit. 

traveling with small kids is obviously pretty easy.  some things, however, used to be a lot easier.  things like her sleep schedule.  at home, k is down to one nap (sigh) and when we are away from home, forget about it.  once in awhile we'll all get lucky and she'll take a snooze, but generally she's not having it.  and most mornings i feel like i can't win because whether i put her to bed at her normal time, earlier (to compensate for early rising) or later (to hope she can sleep in and catch up a bit) it doesn't seem to matter much.  what time she wakes up, at grandma's house, is sort of a fluke.  it's a little frustrating, to say the least, when she wakes up more than an hour earlier than normal and then add to it the issue of non-napping.  but, i do realize this is just life when traveling with children. 

on the brighter side, k loved going to nursery yesterday at grandma's church.  i walked her to the classroom and she got a little nervous (due to 4 or 5 adults standing at the doorway and 1 screaming toddler) and she gripped my hand with wide, apprehensive eyes.  but as soon as we walked into the room and she saw the teacher, she let go of me, ran with open arms, and hugged her fiercely.  that was all i saw because i snagged that golden opportunity and turned right around, pulling the door behind me.  what a treat!!

we'll be visiting grandmas and grandpas and some cousins for at least one more day - here's to hoping a little sleep gets squeezed in somewhere!

some of my favorite things

i absolutely love watching k play with her babies.  it's so adorable to watch her put her babies to bed.  she goes through the whole routine: pajamas, gets a pillow and blanket, tucks them in, kisses them, says things like "sweet dreams" and "sleep til morning" ... i just love it.

i also love praying with k.  she has been learning to say prayers and i just love hearing her repeat our words at bedtime or at mealtimes.  there is something so sweet about listening to your child's little voice and the way they interpret your phrases.  it happens more often than not that husband and i both have to stifle laughter while praying with k.  

one of the best things she does lately is sing... sing more songs, anyway.  she loves singing twinkle little star and you are my sunshine (so sweet).  lately, however, she has added a few more songs to her repertoire, thanks to nursery at church.  she sings teach me to walk, i am a child of god, and jesus wants me for a sunbeam.  such a cute girl!

one last thing that i look forward to everyday is when husband comes walking through the door after work.  k squeals, "daddy!!!" and rushes to give him hugs (well most nights ... sometimes she's stingy with the hugs).  there's something amazing about watching the relationship between father and daughter.

uh-oh

i suppose i brought this on myself.

i'm having that nagging pain that can only mean one thing - aggravated kidney stone(s).  it serves me right, however.  i have been hearing that clear or light sodas can be somewhat harmless when it comes to kidney stones.  i have spent the last month completely keeping away from soda (even though it's the number one craving i've had during this pregnancy).  but in the last 3 days, i've had sprite every day ... ouch.  hopefully it's not too bad!!!

what we have to look forward to

last night, husband said something along the lines of "she is going to be a nightmare."

he's talking about k's ability (as most toddlers, i realize) to be deceptive already.  if she already knows that she needs to be quiet to sneak out of her room, for instance, what do we have to look forward to when she's 16?  i say what about when she's 6?  :)

not to mention the sassiness - just how bad will it get by the time she's 16?  or better yet, 6? 

we love our girl, she's a nut!

my girl is cute

1. k finally named her baby (she got this baby for christmas and has yet to name her anything ... unless you count the time she said the baby's name was belly button).  baby's name is now sweety.


2.  k ate all of her dinner tonight and was relatively great all evening.


3.  after telling k i loved her as she went to play with her great grandma this morning, she yelled back, "i love you, too, mama!"

just what is the secret?

we have had a hard time putting k to bed lately ... as with everything else, it seems like she used to do things just fine and without any complaint, and now she has a completely different personality and demeanor about basic things.  so putting her to bed is just another in a long list.

we do the whole routine every night around the same time and i tell her to stay in bed so she can watch a movie, play with play-dough, go outside, play with her cousin ... whatever the motivator is for that night.  no matter what we do or don't do, she ignores us completely as soon as we shut her door and she is out of bed, playing, and opening and closing her door.  it is so frustrating, to say the least.

here's what happened last night - about an hour after we put k to bed, i walked to the kitchen from our room (we had gone to bed so the house was dark) and i hear, "hi mama!" as if there was nothing wrong with her being out of bed.  i put her back to bed and told her not to get out, yadda yadda yadda... after another hour or so, husband went to the kitchen for a drink and asked, "how much do you want to bet she's out there laying on the floor?"

he was right!  it was like 1:00 in the morning and there she was, sprawled out in the living room sound alseep!  this time i was actually able to put her back to bed and she stayed there :)  it always helps when kids are already sleeping - they are so much more movable ... not to mention obedient.

so, the moral of this story?  tonight i ignored everything she did to try to stay up and be out of her room.  when i got ready to go to bed myself, i went to her room, talked to her as if nothing was wrong (her being out of bed ... again) and told her to kiss me so i could go to bed.  she did, she was fine, she shut her own door, and as far as i know is still in there and is either playing quietly or is actually asleep! 

pick your battles?  i think so!!!  at least for this day :)

this i am learning

to pick my battles.

maybe k and i just had a good day where, subconsciously, we totally understood each other.  now, don't get me wrong.  the day was far from one of those picture perfect days, you know, those days with an infant (that at the time seemed rough, but now would kind of feel dreamy).  anyhow, it was a really good day. 

k ate well for the most part, she ran errands well with me, she didn't have any potty training accidents (except for pooping in that blasted diaper), she was great at my doctor appointment, and overall she was fairly pleasant (meaning she still did what she wanted when she wanted, but she was happy doing it - sometimes i just let her have her way if she's calm and it's not dangerous or a big deal).

this is when i breathed those three calming words: pick your battles.

and while i know this whole mother thing is really a "one day at a time" thing, this mantra definitely helped me yesterday.  as the epiphany struck me, i smiled to myself and breathed in and out and totally relaxed.  if it's not going to hurt her, if it's not going to potentially create any bad habits down the road, if it's not doing any major damage to the house, let her have her fun...

makes for a much better day for me, too.

but then again, we'll see how today goes!!!

i'm hungry already

and i'm trying to gear myself up for the glucose tolerance test for baby b today... i still have a couple hours to go of fasting

i think i can!  i think i can!  i think i can!!!

a new perspective

last night, the husband and i took k and did some babysitting for friends.  they were out of town so we stayed at their place and watched their 2 younger kiddos, boys 7 and 4.  can i tell you a secret?  it was kind of fun having that feeling of "big" kids in the back of the car.  sometimes i think i am just plain old stuck in this phase we're in with just starting our family and raising the littles that i don't see what's coming.  things like t-ball and dance class and school and family vacations like the kind i remember.

i really really hope i don't sound like a huge whiner to all of you readers out there (and when i say "all of you," i do realize it's more like nobody but the crickets...) because the last thing i want to be is a complainer.  most of the time i really can't stand much complaining - especially about the weather!  but that's for another time...

i digress... bottom line, i really hope i don't just log on and post negativity all the time.  if that's how you feel reading, i do apologize. 

i kind of had an epiphany last night watching the 2 boys, though.  first, how great will husband be when he finally gets to have his boy(s) and second, how much fun life will continue to be with the family we are working on.  only having k right now, and the fact that she's stuck in those terrible two's (and by the way, i keep hearing the 3's are worse ... are they really worse???) it's easy for me to really get bogged down and sink into those nasty doldrums (anyone out there ever read the phantom tollbooth?  it was one of my favorite books as a little one) because i don't really see past the stage i'm in right now. 

here's another question: does anyone have any experience dealing with having a toddler and waiting on #2 to come?  is there such a thing as the pre-baby blues?  as opposed to the post?  sometimes i feel like grumpy bear and there is this cloud hovering just for me.

but really, has anyone had any experience with this?  sometimes i'll think back over the previous few days and it seems like i've been down the whole time!  is no fun!  and then i think, well it is just for now, it will get better when b gets here.  but then that fear creeps in - the one where i think, "what if i get the post-baby-blues?" and it sort of freaks me out.  so i go back into my denial cave :) 

mostly, the days are fine.  but when k is on a streak and doing whatever it is she wants to do, despite what mom says over and over, it's hard for me to bust out of the blues and look past the heres and nows.

if anyone has any suggestions, advice, or even "i've been right where you are!" i would love to hear about it.  thanks for reading!  

and i'll try to steer clear of any indulgent complaining - just try to keep it real :)

i love my daughter!

k slept until 9:46 this morning!!!  what a great way to start the weekend!  more later...

something i said i wouldn't do

isn't that life when raising children?  doing things we always said we'd never do?  it sure is for me, more often than i'd like, anyway.

 k has been awesome at potty training, but poop training is so hit or miss.  it actually started a year ago and she went #2 on the toilet 4 or 5 times, but would never go #1.  eventually, she lost all interest and we gave it a rest until the middle of december.  she showed some motivation and she took off with potty training, #1 this time.  she's been a champ and has had relatively few accidents in the last 6 months.

there is still the issue of #2.  there has been one other streak where she had no problems going on the toilet, again 4 or 5 times.  but that was the end of that.  now she is firmly rooted in the schedule of waiting until she has her diaper on (for naps or bedtime) and will do her business within 5 to 10 minutes.  so frustrating!  i'm still patiently working with her on going "stinky" as she calls it and trying really hard not to put any pressure on her.  i kind of figure, as in times past, when she's ready, she'll do it. 

so this isn't even that big of a deal, but i never really wanted to waste money on pull-ups while potty training.  i've heard they are harder for kids to use because they're very good at absorbing so your child isn't all that bothered by sitting in it all day.  the reason i finally gave in last night and bought a box of pull-ups (they are twice the cost of what we spend per diaper at costco!!!) was to try the "princess" motivator (you know, don't go wet/stinky on the princess) and to try to start training her at night.

ahh, training at night.  so it's only been 1 night, too soon to make any major predictions.  i got k up after about 3 hours and took her to the bathroom.  it was kind of funny and sad at the same time as she was so disoriented :)  but she went potty and went back to bed.  however, she had a full diaper this morning (7 hours after the interruption) so i'm kind of thinking she's probably just not ready to hold it for 10 hours.  do i keep up this new routine and hope she will catch on?  i think i'll give it a try for a few more nights at least...  also, i know i need to limit her liquid intake a few hours before bed.  any other suggestions?

on the upside, we've had a great day together.  we had to run a couple of errands this morning, but when we got home we had lunch and then played outside (i know, can you believe it?) with bubbles for awhile.  she's struggling a bit right now, but we'll make it through :)  it's friday, after all!!!

we're all a bit tired

k woke up about 2 1/2 hours earlier than normal this morning.  i opened my tired eyes to her bright ones staring me down.  she whispered, "i'm hungry."  so i rolled out of bed, after checking the time, and told her she could have some bread but she had to go back to bed to eat it.  no problem.

small problem - i have a hard time going back to sleep once i really get woken up.  so i laid there for awhile and i guess finally fell asleep again because the next thing i know, it's been an hour and there are those same bright blues staring me in the face.  now before anyone mistakenly thinks her going back to bed was for me, it's only a fabulous side effect.  remember how much kids need their sleep?  boy i do.

this is kind of how today has felt.  a series of k doing things as she has wished.   i rolled out of bed and decided to make the most of her today - really try not to let the small stuff get to me.  we got out the puzzles, the play dough, the snacks.  i was feeling like a great mom and she was definitely having a good morning.

naptime came around, and around, and around.  k really needed some extra sleep, but try telling her that.  after about 3 hours and constant door opening and "mama!" i gave up.  needless to say, i have been super impatient today.  it has been a very rough day for mom.  very rough.  where does the patience go, or come from during angelic times, for that matter?  wherever, i need to stock up for days like this.

now, not to get all debbie downer on you, k has had a few very redeeming moments today.

because of the particular "roughness," i had a little breakdown and sobbed on the couch in my bedroom for a few minutes.  she came and asked if i was sad, if i was okay, kissed me better, gave me hugs... it was very sweet and very much needed.

when i was getting out of the shower this afternoon (yes, it was about 4:45), she stood on the other side of the bathroom door and said, "mama, i'm sorry."  she asked if she could come in and then gave me a big hug.

man, how are toddlers so capable of bringing you to the brink of losing it (over and over and over again) and then in one fell swoop, erase every memory of the awful day and bring you to laughter or tears because they love you so much?

amazing creatures, those toddlers...

first post

because this is the first post here, i feel like it should be more introductory than anything else.

i guess i am the average stay at home mom ... let me back up, i guess when i say average there really isn't any such thing.  there are the super moms who stay home, wake up before their children, get the housework and breakfast done, play all day with their kids, and have dinner ready and waiting for husband as he walks in the door.  there are the active moms who are so good at playing and being genuinely interested in the child world and they spend the entire day outside.  there are the moms who barely get things picked up around the house and interact with their kids but enjoy plenty of downtime of their own during naptime and have yet to think about dinner until after husband has been home for 30 minutes.

i'll give you one guess to see where i fall.  ashamed, i am probably more at home in the last group.  sometimes it keeps me up at night.  i feel guilty mostly because i know i should do more with my child during the day.

let me rationalize myself for just a small moment.  i have a 28 month old little girl, k.  and i am expecting baby girl #2, b, in under 4 months.  needless to say, i fall into category number three out of pure exhaustion.  how do you other moms do it all and maintain all of that blasted energy?  i think sometimes i am just plain old too selfish. 

so, as far as introductions go, there i am.  the bottom of the barrel as a mother ;) and loving on toddler k as much as i have the energy to do so!  basically i wanted a place to share and commiserate in the craziness that ensues when raising a toddler, including the "i'm glad my daughter survived today" stories as well as the "i'm so proud of my awesome child" stories.  just like any mother, right?

thanks for reading.  please come again!