so as i said, baby b made her way into our family, home, and hearts, in early september. this time around, i was instructed and prepared, and she didn't want to come out either, just like big sister k. this means that about halfway through my pregnancy, my doctor scheduled my c-section "just so it was on the books." i went through all the emotions: disappointment, confusion, convenience, acceptance. on my way to acceptance though, i experienced quite the dilemma. looking at it now, what was my dilemma really? there wasn't much i could do to get her here...
i know there are plenty out there who would start up the arguments with me right now. i say to you: good luck coaxing and waiting for a baby that is not coming out. i experienced this waiting for k. 7 days overdue (yes i could have waited longer but am so glad we didn't since she had meconium in there with her and could have gotten major infection) and no sign of her coming (i was at 1.5cm and zero effacing...) so they went in and got her. and i am so grateful they did. thank you doctor! it was time for her to come and she was pretty determined it wasn't happening. i feel strongly that it's how it was supposed to happen. my recovery was great and i had zero qualms about having a c-section other than i didn't get to experience that "regular" delivery.
so i went through the emotional roller coaster this time trying to decide about a scheduled c-section or not. i had 2 major concerns: a) if i have back-to-back c-sections, i will probably be closing the door to ever having a regular, vaginal delivery. and, secretly, i always wanted to try for that natural delivery, sans epidural. that would all be voided as an option for me in the future. b) would having c-section babies limit the number of children i can have? that all depended on how many kids i wanted and how my body handled the scar tissue inside. inside? that meant i had to wait until they got back inside to see just how my body handles it... thankfully my scars inside looked "gorgeous"... doctor's words :)
acceptance came a few weeks later, once i basically realized there really isn't anything more important than getting your baby here safely. i accepted my fate that i will never experience childbirth and moved on.
the big day came and we were admitted early in the morning. i was so grateful i didn't have to wait around until late afternoon for surgery! b was here 15 minutes after they took me into the OR. it was fantastic and she was here!!! and, as it turns out, we would have most likely ended up in that OR regardless because little b had that umbilical cord wrapped around her neck not once but twice! yikes. thank goodness for medical staff who take care of things and know exactly what to do!
now it's been 4 months, wow, and we are a family of four. it's crazy to think we were ever just a family of three. or two?
wow!
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I loved this post - too many young moms are on a crusade about natural childbirth and being empowered, etc. Really - the most important thing is getting a healthy baby at the end of the day. Childbirth is only the beginning of the story - and not even the most exciting part!
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