mothers intuition

it's interesting mothering for the second go-around.

with k i had a few of those dramatic and traumatic moments where you are tearing your hair out and sobbing because you feel utterly helpless trying to deduce what's wrong with your screaming baby.  thankfully, i didn't have as many as i would have thought before becoming a mom. 

this round of mothering a newborn has been even more delightful.  i know a lot of that has to do with baby b's personality and demeanor.  she is a very mellow, easy-going, self-entertaining baby girl.  i am one lucky mama. 

but all of that luck aside, some of this delight has to come from my mom skills, right?  i mean, it's not my first time - surely i would have learned a few things, right?  right!!!  it's so exhilarating for someone like me (read someone who never wanted to hold babies, rarely wanted to babysit, didn't look forward very much to having her own children) to feel like i actually have some of that wonderful mother's intuition.  me?  that's right :)

i'm being slightly sarcastic if it wasn't reading...

i love when b is crying and i can tell it's her mama, i'm tired!  put me to bed! cry.  i don't know what it sounds like, i'm not that trained.  but i have the intuition to know it's time for her to lay down and get some sleep.  she is calm the minute we enter her room - i turn on her sound machine, lay her on her back, and watch as she turns to the side and sticks that thumb in her mouth.  after wrapping her up in her blankets, i sneak out of the room and she doesn't make another sound. 

i love when i'm right!  it's such a rewarding feeling.  like i really do know what i'm doing!  maybe i'm the only one who ever feels this way, but it is so encouraging to feel like i know exactly how to meet her needs.  feels good!

mementos

what have you kept of your child's?  do you keep their hair? their teeth?  what about their belly button?

yes.  i have kept, or plan to keep, each of these things for my girls.  i have a little box for each of them that houses things from when they were brand new babies.  you can find ultrasound images, pictures, hospital bracelets, a birth announcement, a newborn diaper, the bows they wore in the hospital, their pacifier, and even their belly button scabs that fell off.  in k's baby book, i have a couple of clippings of hair taped in.  when they lose their teeth, i fully plan to at least keep the first. 

i know there is a range of tolerance when it comes to keeping things.  just recently a friend was asking if she should keep her child's first lost tooth.  i say, absolutely!  but then i am the crazy mom who has saved her baby's gross old belly button.  but hey, i've recently gone through k's box with her and you know what her favorite item was?  the belly button... although she didn't dare touch it :)

finger and nail clippings

when k was a baby, i only had to trim her fingernails about once a month.  they just didn't grow!  i never once got her fingers either.  i remember hearing friends talk about how they hated having to clip their baby's fingernails.  i remember hearing friends cringe when talking about how they accidentally clipped their poor baby's skin instead of fingernail.  i thought i had it all figured out when it came to fingernails.  i kept up with my daughter's just fine and i never, ever clipped her skin on accident.

then came baby b.

this girl's fingernails grow so fast i can hardly keep up with them!  it seems like just a day or two after i cut them, i can feel their sharp edges scraping at my skin again - let alone her skin!  poor girl always seems to have a nick or two on her face.

as much as cutting a baby's fingernails gets old, nothing feels worse than when i've cut into her skin instead of her nail.  oh my.  the worst.  it only take a second or two for her fingertip to flood with bright red blood and i'm flooding her with the "i'm so sorry's!"  then you get a reminder of it anytime you catch a streak of red on her clothes that day.  those fingertips take awhile to stop bleeding and finally clot!

just more evidence that nothing we do is because we have raised a perfect child - another child, whether yours or someone else's, will always serve as a reminder.  they all do their own thing and have their own way!

good morning sunshine

what's the best part of my day?

it's when my girls wake up.  it's slightly the worst part of my day at the same time because it means i have to wake up, too.  but selfishness aside...

the best part is when k sneaks into my room and starts to climb up into bed with me.  i can almost always hear her when she's just a couple of feet from my bed.  i can hear her literal pitter-patters as she nears my bed.  she grips the blankets, puts her foot on the bed frame, and hoists herself up over me.  i love those first few snuggles of the day.  she is pleasant and well-rested and happy to greet the day.

the best part is when i hear baby b's coos coming from the baby monitor.  i sneak into the dark room (thank goodness for blackout curtains!) and peek over the side of the crib.  the instant she locks eyes with me, there is a twinkle in her big blues and a huge grin grows across her face.  her big blues change into the half-moon eyes i see in my own reflection.  she gets so excited, flailing her limbs and kicking herself free of the blanket she's tied up in.  if only she could speak and tell me just what she's thinking.

those are the best parts of my day.

little picasso

i'm not a great mom when it comes to letting k play with messy things.  i have a hard time letting her do, let alone participate in, things that are bound to make a mess.  it seems like it has to be a holiday if k gets to play with markers or paint. 

for her first birthday, yes that's two years ago, she got some finger paints.  i finally opened them up and let her play with them just a few months ago.  (they were hidden in the cupboard for over a year and a half until she found them and asked if i could open the bottles.) on a couple of occasions, i've set her up at the kitchen table, taped paper down, put her in an old t-shirt of mine, and let her go.  she loves her some finger painting!

for her birthday this year, k received a princess art kit and she had been dying to use the paints.  it was a tiny paint set, 2 tiny brushes, and a couple of tiny books to paint in.  i unclenched and opened it up for her.  how big of a mess could she make with such tiny things?  not much, it turns out.

i'm not sure why i have this idea that she's going to make a huge mess if i let her use paints and markers.  and if she spills something?  we wipe it up.  just writing this post is a bit therapeutic for me - i'm able to write my thoughts on the subject, read my words, ask myself "what's the big deal?", and open it up for any other discussion. 

now that my thoughts are out of my head, all i can think about is how great it is to encourage k to be creative.  i would never want to squash her artistic inclinations.  who knows if she'll be like mom and be a sewer, like dad and be a photographer, or carve her own little creative path?  i'm excited to watch and see what she comes up with!

i only looked away for one second!

famous last words, right?  don't worry now, it's not like b was in the bathtub and we had a serious problem on our hands.  but i did look away for one second when k was playing with her baby sister. 

k was playing with b on the floor just outside the bathroom while i was cleaning.  she was "helping" her sit up and they were both laughing.  as i turned to wipe up the floor, i suddenly heard screams from b.  not just the i'm annoyed screams, the i'm really hurt screams.  you know the difference when you hear it.  in the same instant b was screaming, k was immediately saying, "i'm sorry!  i'm sorry!" 

i quickly turned around to find b's head crammed against the base of a shelving unit outside the bathroom door.  i can only guess that k was helping her sit up and b's weight plummeted her toward the furniture.  i instantly scooped b up in my arms, kissing her poor forehead and trying my best to calm her. k started screaming along with her baby sister and, after a few seconds, took off running toward her bedroom.  i guess i shouldn't be surprised, but i find it interesting that k knew right away that something serious just happened, that she felt horrible, and that she was probably in trouble. 

after i got b to relax, we went to the girls' room to find k.  she was still crying.  it kind of broke my heart.  instead of getting angry and laying into her about how she hurt her baby sister, i realized it really was an accident and it quite scared little k.  i talked to her, loved her better, and helped her apologize and kiss better baby b. 

obviously i know you can't turn away for a second and you can't leave a toddler to watch an infant.  thanks to some vitamin e and some mommy kisses, her scrapes are all better now!

letter to b

my sweet little baby girl,

you are five months old - five!  where did the time go?  it flew by as we were watching you, changing your diapers, feeding you, sleeping, waking, and being in love with you.  that's where it went.

you are such a good baby.  we know how lucky we are.  you are pleasant 23 1/2 hours out of the day and you literally go with the flow.  you roll with whatever we are doing and smile along the way.  if you are fed and clean and rested you smile for anyone who looks your way.  you giggle and laugh.  you coo.  oh, it is the sweetest sound. 

you are growing so quickly - much quicker than i realized i was ready for.  you are outgrowing your clothes at a much faster rate than your big sister did.  you are in higher percentiles for height and weight than she was.  now, this is not to serve as a comparison between sisters and ignite a competition that will no doubt rear it's ugly head during your growing years.  it is an observation and reminder of how different each child is when they join a family.  you bring with you your own personality and thoughts.  you are an individual.

thank you for the ease, b.  you made going from one baby to two such a breeze.  hopefully your next sibling will be so kind!

i am already so in love with you and so very proud of you.  you are already on the right track - just maybe learn how to sleep a bit longer in the mornings!

love, mom

vocabulary

i know every parent thinks their child is brilliant.  we all do it.  when k can put puzzles together that i thought were beyond her, when she knows the words to a song after hearing it once or twice, when she can dress herself in the mornings... i always think to myself, "k you are so smart!"  but again, we all do it.

the other night when we were all in the car, husband was talking to k and asking questions about the book she was reading.  it was her princess book, one of those books with all the buttons you can push as you read.  they were talking about beauty and the beast. 

k started telling husband all about belle, the beast, and gaston.  then she said it:

gaston is conceited

what?  did we just hear her right?  did she use the word conceited?

now, this might sound as conceited as gaston, but husband leaned over to me and said, "how cool is it that our 3 year old has the vocabulary of a 5th grader."  call him gaston!

going to the chapel

my very wise mother used to whisper in my ear every night as she tucked me in to please not get married until i was 25.  when i was growing up and would hear her talk about this, i thought she was crazy.  i was one of those crazy girls who dreamed of  marrying her high school sweetheart when she was 19 or maybe 20.  and i thought my mom was crazy?  what was i thinking? 

seeing the wisdom in my mother, i have started this routine with my own daughter.  while i don't necessarily whisper into her ear at bedtime about waiting to marry until 25, i do take the opportunity to remind k of this idea every chance i get. 

since k is enthralled with all things princess and marrying a handsome prince these days, the question arises frequently, "when will you get married?" from various people.  i beam with pride anytime this happens because i love hearing her answer:

i'm going to get married in the temple in my pretty dress and tights and dancing shoes to a nice prince when i'm 25

and yes, she includes all of that information every time she answers the question.

sure, i know it will wear on her, the idea will probably sound like too much time to wait, yadda yadda yadda.  it did all of that for me as a young woman. 

but look how i turned out.  i got married.  in the temple.  in my pretty white dress.  in my tights and dancing shoes (okay they were sandals).  to my high school sweetheart prince.  when i was 25.

okay, i was 3 months shy of being 25, but close enough for me and my mother!

night rider

from the time i can remember until i moved out of my parents' house, my mom and dad used to take rides to get out of the house and relax.  my mom tells me it was the only way she could stay sane while taking care of us kids.  she tells me, "as soon as dad walked through the door, i'd say 'get me out of here!'"  ok, it might not have been the second he walked through the door, she did feed us dinner when my dad got home, but as soon as things were winding down and our needs were all taken care of, my parents were out the door for at least an hour to decompress.


we have started doing the same thing, but we have no option but to take the kids.  when husband gets home and we have all had dinner, we gear the girls up in their pajamas and coats and load up into the car.  we drive until we have had enough adult conversation, until the girls mellow out for the night, or until we hear snores coming from the backseat.

we get out of the house, husband and i get some time to talk and focus on each other, girls relax in their carseats and pass out for the night.  when we get home, we put them to bed and they sleep through the whole thing.  it is a fantastic way to end our nights in this stage of life.

thanks for the example, mom and dad!  ;)

be mine

happy valentime's day from miss k.  i was explaining valentine's day to k this morning while she was having her bath.  i told her on valentine's day we ask the people we love if they will be our valentine.  i then asked her if she would be mine - thankfully she said yes.  when i asked k who she wanted for her valentine, she said, "my fam-i-ly."  i love how she pronounces each syllable separately :)  what a little love. 

princesses all around

k has spent the last two months living in her dresses... sometimes a slip (you know, the ones with the layers and layers of ruffles that looks like a tutu?)  she has been enthralled with being a princess.  at least 10 times everyday i hear something about her pretty dress and her tights and her dancing shoes.  the time has come for dress up and princesses and unicorns and nice princes.

my girl is a real kid!  do you ever have those moments when you look at your child, who was once your baby, and realize, wow - you're a kid?!  it's happening more and more around here.

for her birthday, k got a trunk full of dress up paraphernalia.  i made her 4 dresses and her grandma c (husbands mom.... the whole grandma c thing will never work... all grandmas are c's) got her a bunch of accessories from shoes to crowns to wigs.  she is loving it.  we had to make it clear, early on, that these things were to be worn at home, never to be worn at church.  i thought we'd have a problem with that, but so far, so good.

it's been really fun to get on the floor with her and don a tiara with jewels and rapunzel hair.  she got a whole new library of princess books from great-grandma c and we've been reading all about princesses and other fairy tales.  and grandma c (my mom) got her a couple of sets of blocks to build with.  what do you think k has been constructing this week?  castles for the royals to live in, of course. 

princess k is eating it up!

bottle baby

for two days this week, i had to leave baby b with someone.  while it's not the first time we've left her, it is the first time for over 3-4 hours.  which means, dun! dun! dun!, i had to leave her with a bottle.

b drank from a bottle a couple of times early on in her life.  you moms know those first days.  the painful painful days when that milk floods in...  i swear engorgement is worse than having a baby.  it is for me, that is for sure.  my mom wisely convinced me that pumping and giving b a bottle once or twice would lessen the pressure - and she was right.  oh those were a horrible four days!

so, it's been months since b had a bottle and i wasn't sure how she would do while great-grandma was watching her.  i hoped that if b got hungry enough, any aversions she had to a bottle would dissolve.  and, thankfully, that's what happened.  we haven't really left her with a babysitter much because a) she's so easy to take along and b) i didn't know how she'd do with the bottle.  thankfully, for her and for grandma, she did fine.

my only other experience with giving a nursing baby a bottle (k) did not end well... for me.  k was a breast and bottle fed baby.  i was working part-time for the first 4-5 months of her life so weston gave her a bottle everyday.  once we left her for a couple of days for our anniversary, however, she only had eyes for her bottle and nursing was quickly on its way out.  i'll be honest, that's a bit of the reason why baby b hasn't had much exposure to the bottle yet.

i was talking to my sister in law about this the other day.  do any of you moms have advice or experiences to share on the subject?  i'm guessing the answer is that it depends on the individual baby, but what has worked to nurse your baby and give them the occasional bottle without ruining your routine?

happy birthday

miss k had a birthday.  her third, if we're counting.

we had family and a few friends over for a pink party.  it was so much fun to plan and put together.  we had pink treats (because i really couldn't get inspired to serve pink foods) and pink cake and cupcakes.  it was so fun watching k anticipate her birthday.  every day for a couple of weeks she would ask, "is it almost my birthday?"  it was definitely the first time the concept started making sense for her.  now if we can just learn the concept of how long a year is :)  that would really help with christmas, too.

now for the obligatory waxing deep in thought...  i know, we all say it.  but i really can't believe it!  how did we, first of all, have a baby?  and now, how did we get here?  how do we have a three year old?  where did those three years go?  maybe having a new baby in the family will bring on some of these thoughts.  because, really, it seems like we had k, she was born in the hospital, they let us put her in our car, they let us take her home.  i still remember how i felt in that moment.  where did the time go between those first weeks and months to the last few weeks and months?  it is bizarre.  but, here we are.  with a three year old.  who teaches me, entertains me, loves me, tries me, makes me cry, makes me laugh, makes me scream!, makes me a mother.  she is my greatest gift.  look at that, giving gifts on her birthday...

separation anxiety

black friday did a number on k.  we were staying with my parents, along with a houseful of siblings and nieces and nephews, for the thanksgiving weekend.  husband and i got up at 4:30 am to go do a tiny bit of shopping and naturally, our girls were sound asleep.  since we would be back before the sun came up, we decided to just leave them sleeping in our room.  apparently k woke up (wouldn't you know it?) and we were nowhere to be found.  the car was even gone.  but i don't think she made it as far as looking out the front windows because she was stopped by her aunt j in the hallway.  this was apparently after she had been crying and carrying on for quite some time.  poor little k and poor guests in the house.  i still can't believe she woke up!  she was so affected by this one-time experience.

even now it's hard for about 3 seconds when we try to leave her with anyone - including grandparents or even her favorite nursery class at church.  she might cry but she definitely starts to get very worried and apprehensive and begs to come with us.  it is pretty heartbreaking to see the emotion written all over her face, maybe tears welling up in her eyes, and her sweet sad voice wanting not to be left behind.  we still work at encouraging her that we will always come back and that she's our little girl that we love and can't live without.  i wonder how lasting this experience will be for her?

sleep schedules

when k was a baby, we trained her on our schedule.  we are definitely night owls and her bedtime was honestly around 11:30 or midnight.  but the beauty was that she slept until 11:00am.  then she turned 2 1/2 and that all changed.  but we've adjusted to 8:30 or 9:00 am :)

b is a bit different.  first of all, she set her own bedtime.  try as i might to keep her up for another hour or two, she wants to be in bed by 10:30 - where did this trait come from?  not her parents, that's for sure!


k never really wants to be in bed.  just last night, we saw a four-alarm freak out because we said it was time for bed.  after she had been playing all day, partying hard on her birthday, no naps, no slowing down.  she had been yawning for hours but fought and fought going to bed.  finally, we won.  it was a valiant fight on both sides!

the other morning, b was up by 8:30 and at 10:30 k was still sound asleep.  while i am grateful for mornings when k gets some extra needed sleep, i just wish they could be on the same clock!  it also always seems that mornings when we have to be somewhere, like 9:00 church on sunday mornings, k could sleep until noon.  having to wake her up is such a bummer!

red means stop

and green means go, in case you didn't know that yet.  but no worries, k will inform you if you aren't sure!

we have been working on this concept a bit over the last few days.  k is learning all about traffic signals and stop signs.  right now, she is calling every sign a stop sign but we'll keep working on it.  it's nice to add little lessons like this to the growing repertoire of songs we sing in the car.  anything to keep her mind off of not having a movie in front of her.  we stow the dvd player away when we aren't long distance travelling (something that took us a year to do...)

back to red light green light.  the other day, i stopped at my red light.  i was turning right, however, so once i waited my obligatory 3 seconds, i started to make my turn.  k screamed from the backseat, "no mom!  it's a red light!  red means stop!  you can't go!"  the funny thing, to me, was that she was highly concerned and was legitimately yelling at me as if i was breaking the law.  it was comical.

while i love teaching her something and then watching her internalize the concept and use it in her life, i can't help but wonder if i've already created the monster that is the back seat driver...

by the way

my baby b started rolling over yesterday!  i said just the day before "she'll be doing it any day now" and then 24 hours later, she did it! 

i actually missed the first one.  i had her playing on the floor on her little mat while i was on the couch painting my nails.  can you believe i squeezed that in?  she had been playing on her back with some rattles and other toys and when i looked up a minute later, she was on her tummy. 

i thought this happened a couple of weeks ago, but after a few hours of b not being able to roll over again, i realized big sister helped her do it the first time.  but yesterday's performance was solo for b!  i was so proud of her and have loved watching her do it over and over again since.

husband was playing on the floor with her last night and was putting the palm of his hand against her feet.  she pushed off his hand over and over, just inching herself further away from where she started.  watching her wiggle around like that had me realizing just how quickly we've gone already from having a newborn who sleeps 23 hours a day to what will only be, all too soon, a scooter and a cruiser.  and i will ask then, just like i'm going to ask now, where is my little brand new baby?  she is growing up.  and i feel, like every other mom out there, that it's going by much too quickly this time around.

developments

baby b has been busy being a baby.  she is so cute and fun right now.  i was looking at her the other night, lost in deep thought, thinking how amazing it is that she is here in our family, how incredible it is that she is only 5 months old, that we have only known her for that long, that she is simply beautiful, and on and on and on.  lots of thoughts watching this gorgeous girl asleep, nestled in her daddy's arms. 

she is cooing like crazy and her latest thing is blowing bubbles and raspberries.  she hasn't quite mastered the raspberry, but it is awesome to watch.  she is changing every day!!!  it really does happen so fast.  another thing she is close to doing is rolling over.  she gets so frustrated and screams and hates it, but she is going to do it any day.  one of my hands-down favorite things she is doing these days, though, is crunching.  she tries so hard to sit up that she ends up doing crunches, lifting her head, neck, and even shoulders until her little face goes bright red.  then she breathes and gives up and lays back down, only to try again.  it is pretty hilarious :)

school girl

k is already excited for school.  she's not yet three, but boy, she's excited.

anytime we see a school bus drive by, or even pass a parked one, she yells out, "mama!  a school bus!!!"  it's very exciting :)  whenever we pass the local elementary school, she asks if it's her school and if we went to the carnival there.  she frequently asks if she can go to school and then tells me she's big enough.  apparently i've told her she's not "big enough yet"  :)

so, it has me asking: does k need preschool and when do we start?  and then comes the shortness of breath when i think about dropping off my little baby to some stranger!  i never think of myself as the type of mom who will cry when she drops off her kids to school.  and i still don't think i will.  but it does bring me a slight sense of panic (and complete paranoia) when i start to think about her being safe.  i guess i need to ask around and find out who i can trust with my little k :)

i never attended preschool so there is a little part of me that says "kids don't need preschool."  but then a friend reminded me the other day that no, k doesn't need preschool - i do.  i had to laugh :)  she was also kind enough to remind me about a little thing called a waiting list.  i really do need to start asking around for good recommendations... oh boy.